Proof

For a long time, I looked at Jesus' healings as "proof".
As in: If you don't believe Jesus was actually the Son of God - then how did he do all of those magic healings?

Today, something stirs.
Like a soft, quiet breeze rustling through the leaves.
Just enough movement that glimpses of the sun sparkle through.

Jesus Heals.

What does it mean to trust your broken body, broken mind, broken heart, broken soul to the Savior of the World? To lay down all the jagged pieces before the Cross. Before the One who was rejected, despised, broken, abandoned, and slaughtered? To weep at His feet and feel his blood and tears wash over you? What does it mean to be held fast in those arms marked with scars?

Will our pain, sickness and suffering leave us as empty shells, brittle skeletons trying to shore ourselves up on the crutches of our own good works?

Who is this Messiah that heals the sick, mends the broken, comforts the hurting, sets the captive free and raises the dead?

Sometimes those stories from 2000 years ago seem like...stories.

But today, I think I'm beginning to take hold of the Proof.

Mark 5:1-8 (NKJV)
Then they came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gadarenes. And when He had come out of the boat, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, who had his dwelling amon the tombs; and no one could bind him, not even with chains, because he had often been bound with shackles and chains. And teh chains had been pulled apart by him, and the shackles broken in pieces; neither could anyone tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying out and cutting himself with stones. When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him. And he cried out with a loud voice and said, "What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore you by God that you do not torment me." For He said to him, "Come out of the man, unclean spirit!"

Mark 5:25-30 (NRSV)
Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years. She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, 'If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well.' Immediately her hemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease.

Mark 5: 39-42 (NKJV)
Then He came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and saw a tumult and those who wept and wailed loudly. When He came in, He said to them, "Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping."...Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, "Talitha, cumi," which is translated, "Little girl, I say to you, arise." Immediately the girl arose and walked...

Mark 6:56 (NRSV)
And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the market-places, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of His cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

Translations

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles,they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31 (NRSV)

In the NIV this verse talks about "soaring" - I definitely prefer this version.

For a long time, I have carried the belief (hope?) that if I could get close enough to God, then I could soar above the worries of this life. Yes, bad things happen to good people, but I would be so close to God, so filled with the spirit, that peace would descend on me like a dove. After all, isn't that the goal? Peace that passes all understanding. No fear of death and calamity, no more tears, wisdom of the ages, serenity...

I am beginning to wonder.

It doesn't seem that Jesus was trying to arrange His life to result in His ultimate comfort and ease. It doesn't seem He loved well to ensure He would be loved well in return. It doesn't seem He did the next right thing to avoid the consequences of "bad choices". It doesn't seem he behaved responsibly to avoid the pitfalls of rash actions.

It gets muddled after a while. Am I living right as a call to love, or am I trying to ensure my own future security? Some people may think it doesn't matter, as long as you are living right.

I think it does.

I think there is great danger in relying on my own right actions to bring about certain rewards or blessings. I have a tendency to get very impatient when those blessings don't present themselves in a timely fashion or in the proper package. I think there is great danger in assuming that following Christ will bring ease or comfort or escape from pain.

It seems that Christ never took the path of least resistance. He ran full out towards pain, suffering, lonliness, sorrow, sacrifice...

There is a HUGE difference between "Mounting Up" and "Soaring".