Rob Wegner has been teaching about fear in the last two weekend services. In, particular, about how God is "So big" to hold our life, death and future in His Hands. It's hard to grasp.
I've had this picture in my head since I was a child of the God who's "Got the whole world in his hands" (I'm not sure if it came from church...maybe a Coke commercial?). The image is of the hand of God cupped around the globe like one would hold a small rubber ball. God is so big, so huge, and his eyes are so far away-how does he see me? His hand is so large and strong-He could crush us all. Can He really keep track of us scurrying around down here like ants? This big God, was not comforting or knowable to me.
Now, as an adult, I am intentional about spending my time and shifting my focus so that I can see God with adult eyes, so that I can be in relationship with God as an "adult child". My prayer and spiritual disciplines are an effort to know and commune with God in reality - His reality - not mine. And oddly enough, it brings me back to a childhood experience.
I remember laying out in the middle of the field behind my grandmother's house.
A tree branch swaying in the breeze in the corner of my eye.
The wind rustling softly through the grass.
Clouds rolling lazily across the clear summer sky.
The warmth of the sun embracing me.
Cicadas and the chirping birds swimming in my ears.
The sweet smell of honey suckle and lilacs filling my senses.
And the Earth...pressed hard against my back.
For a moment...Vertigo.
I'm not sure if it is the clouds that are moving, or the earth.
For a moment...I cannot tell If I am connected to the earth or connected to the sky.
I realize that the rocky, bumpy surface beneath me is THE EARTH.
That I am touching the entire earth, and everything on it, as much as I possibly can, from head to toe. I can press myself into it, stretch my arms and legs as wide as they will go, turn over and dig in and inhale it, reach and grasp to take as much of it in as possible, rest in it's enormity, relax and take comfort in the strength of it's solidness...But it will always be THE EARTH and I will only be able to take in what is humanly possible.
And now...as an adult...I wonder if knowing God is like that?
I wonder if my endeavor as a human, is to see God as far as my eyes can see...to hear God as clearly as my ears can hear...to know God as well as my mind can comprehend...to feel God's presence as intimately as my heart can receive Him.
Always with the understanding that He is so much more.
He is "SO BIG".
1 comment:
Stephanie-
I love this one...I love them all! Thank you so much for sharing what is in your heart! Miss you! Mer
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